Trusting God in the midst of loss
Welcome to the ninth month of the year! It’s hard to believe how quickly 2024 is approaching. Soon, Christmas lights will be twinkling everywhere, and the countdown to December will begin.
For the past two years, as my birthday has approached, I’ve been filled with a sense of sadness, reflecting on what might have been had I not lost my pregnancy. Exactly five days before my 40th birthday, I went for a scan and received the devastating news that I had lost my baby.
I felt numb as I called my husband to share the news. He reassured me to take it easy and said he would be on his way.
On our drive home that day, tears streamed down my face, but I tried to compose myself for the sake of my other children, not wanting them to see me cry.
The next day, I visited the doctor to discuss the plan for an evacuation. As I sat there, I mentioned that I was turning 40 in just four days and that I really didn’t want to think about it at that moment. She understood and scheduled an appointment for me to return in eleven days.
Now, I faced the challenge of telling people about my loss just three days before my birthday, all while trying to avoid pity parties and becoming the talk of the town. The truth is, no one knew I was pregnant except for my husband and I, although I shared it with one of my bestie and my pastor . I was still able to grieve quietly and lean on God for comfort.
When my 40th birthday finally arrived, we celebrated as if nothing had happened, and it turned out to be a glorious day. The thanksgiving service was powerful, followed by a joyous party. After all the celebrations was done I moved on to the next phase of attending to my hospital appointments.
The hospital visit was the hardest, but I found comfort in an unexpected encounter with a stranger. I understood better when the bible tells us that God never leave us nor forsake us.
While sitting in the cafeteria filled with patients and their families, a man with prosthetic legs chose to sit in front of me. He introduced himself and began sharing his story. Initially, I assumed he was in the army, but I was mistaken. It made me reflect on how often we make snap judgments about people based on appearances.
He shared how children called him “Iron Man” because of his prosthetic legs and how they often giggled at him. He recounted his journey after a motorcycle accident that resulted in the amputation of both legs and how he overcame depression. He emphasized the importance of choosing our reactions to life’s challenges: we can either rise and give thanks for life or remain angry and let it pass us by. He had chosen to rise.
When he asked why I was there, I told him about my loss. He encouraged me to be strong and take heart before standing up and leaving. By that point, I was in tears, but I felt a renewed sense of strength as I went to my appointment.
Later that day, I spoke to God, saying, “I heard you, ABBA,” and leaned on Him for comfort.
“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 MSG
Each passing day, I trusted Him for healing, and gradually, I began to feel better. After few weeks I returned to work and resumed my daily tasks.
Did I move on immediately? Not at all. I experienced highs and lows, but I chose to hold on to God.
“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Hebrews 4:16 NIV
I am grateful for His healing. If you’ve ever gone through a miscarriage, you understand how tough it can be, especially when faced with explaining it to others or answering their questions about what happened.
God is our healer, comforter, and helper. The Bible reminds us that He is our ever-present help in times of need. It’s natural to feel angry, annoyed, or to cry and wish things were different—I’ve felt all of that and more. But God remains God, and our circumstances do not change who He is.
“God, you’re such a safe and powerful place to find refuge! You’re a proven help in time of trouble— more than enough and always available whenever I need you.”
Psalms 46:1 TPT
Remain steadfast in the Lord.
Dupe Akingbehin
TellingoftheloveofGod@sept 2024
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